Don't get strung along!

Sometimes a job, friendship, or marriage gives us the validation we are seeking. Unfortunately, those things can also be self serving and confining, as they are jealous and may challenge balance. It is a task to learn how to balance our roles and how they operate in our lives opposed to how they BECOME our lives which can lead to entanglements, trapped situations, and stagnation.

Transition is power and needed at different times in our life. Maybe it’s time to move on and make changes that seem “on time but hard”. In life growth requires transitioning, learning, and gaining new experiences. Often we spend our time in a place we know we should have moved from but because of fear,hurt,and habit we stand still. In standing still we lose sight of ourselves forgetting that in all things we must promote ourselves and grasp our destiny. People desire us to feel guilty and label us as hedonistic when we put ourselves first but this is far from the truth. It is empowering and essential for us to recognize that we DESERVE to live out our dreams,obtain our goals, and live the fullest life. Being in trapped and entangled situations strangle the chances of authentically being YOU.

Personal relationships are one of the most difficult things to tackle and balance. Love is the strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties as defined by the Merriam-Webster Dictionary. We often practice love in a selfless way giving ALL that we have to nurture it. This is actually SELFISH! What now appears selfless morphs into losing the nuclear component -YOU! What we often fail to realize is that the best love is reciprocated. In our personal relationships we feel the need to often be so focused on the love we give that we fail to realize that the love is not returned. There are certain instances that we feel as if we will get a “golden badge” for displaying love when it is not returned. For instance, a parent who has been abusive and consistently not been successful in their role. Maybe it's your role as a spouse where the contribution is one sided. Is that really love or an entanglement and entrapment? I am not saying there don't exist some personal responsibilities in these situations but there is a difference in love and responsibilities. I am also not saying there is no love in these situations but I am challenging you to understand that love requires an action and reciprocation. We don't want to challenge the people WE love with expectations because we confuse responsibility with our power to command respect, love, and humane treatment for fear of losing them.

Professionally we all know the thought process , “ When you get sick or can no longer do the job they will replace you without a second thought”. Yes, business will go on with or without you if its not your company! No matter how many accolades you get in your position, you are expendable. In looking for success and advancement we attempt to obey all the policies(which I agree you should), miss no days, create and innovate ideas and new growth for our said companies. This is admirable and an appropriate goal for professionals but where does this transition to you giving so much of yourself away that you feel slighted when you are incapacitated? Have you given so much of yourself away to someone else's vision that you feel lost? Many of us will never be entrepreneurs(by choice) but are we acting in a way that we are Intrapreneurs? My definition of an Intrapreneur is one that acts within another established entity but still holds and commands their own worth with a plan for continued success. I am blessed to have both my own business and work in a director position in another company. One of the things I always tell the associates is that you must build human capital. In corporate America we recognize capital as quite simply MONEY! That money may be in the form of an asset or in the “almighty dollar” but is NOTHING in comparison to your capital exploited for their benefit. You see…..your abilities, skill set, ingenious ideas,and innovative creativity is what propels that monetary capital. It’s yours! Never trap yourself in a place professionally that you under utilize yourself by being a slave to the process. Entanglement is not ever an acceptable condition of employment.

Although there are numerous ways we can become entangled or trapped the key is to identify the attitudes and behaviors that allow this. We must choose ourselves and have full control over our happiness. You must be transparent about your current placement and have the determination to change the current path. Remaining loyal to yourself to the end provides you a personal victory infused with self worth.

#ClearCache’